Too often, I find myself wishing that I were a certain way more often than just enjoying the things that I enjoy. Worse than that, I will deprive myself of things that I want, for fear of people think that I am a follower or copier and not original. My “hello” sweatshirt for example, that I am wearing in my photo up in the corner. I almost didn’t get one, because everyone has one and I didn’t want to feel like a lemming. But guess what, buying and wearing that sweatshirt makes me happy, it’s cute and cozy so I don’t care. Baaa.
I have been so much happier recently, being me and embracing all of the little things that make me, me. The biggest takeaway so far from reading The Happiness Project is to start truly being Colleen. Finding the things that give me sheer joy in my everyday and allowing myself to do those things. I’m not talking about existential happiness (today) I’m talking about other, more material things. Like not getting embarrassed when Ashley Simpson pops up on my iPod, or not sharing my blog with people who I know because I they may think that it’s a narcissistic pastime. Because maybe it is. But that’s just part of who I am. Maybe I am a bit narcissistic, but I certainly can’t help the way that I am, and it is certainly not what makes me wholly a person. It’s a piece of me, so why do I have to feel guilty about it? I don’t get why we do that to ourselves. It’s idiotic. I have always had a huge irrational fear of people thinking that I think too much of myself. I feel like being humble and unassuming is much more likable. I don’t want to appear that I am “trying” too hard. So dumb. In the realm of things that matter, do imaginary opions that other people have of me matter more than my happiness? Yeah, no.
I won’t feel embarrassed to have twinkle lights up in my living room and posters on the walls instead of fancy art. Yes, I’m 32 and I decorate like I live in a dorm. Sorry. I will read YA books, and listen to Avril Lavigne. I will copy every trendy thing that I like, because trends don’t dictate what I like, they dictate what is available to me. I will blog my ass off and take pictures of my food and or coffee when I want to. I will happily hop hobbies and interests at will, and I won’t be mad at myself when I suddenly lose interest and move on to the next thing. Because without fail, it’s gonna happen.
Figuring out that I am utterly happy being un-apologetically me, Colleen, who watches at least 2 Friends reruns a day at minimum…is pretty bad-ass. Practice being un-apologetically you and see what I mean. 
xo
I love this, Colleen!!! It’s so true, and I really admire how you put those feelings into words. Sometimes I worry about what other people think – but as I get older I realize I care less and less. I may not be some people’s cup of tea, and that’s OK, because lots of people aren’t mine either
I really like that phrase “unapologetically me” … so inspired right now – thanks for sharing 
Kristen @ KV Confessions recently posted..The CT Travel Diaries – Part II
Absolutely awesome. Love it, girl.
Christen Dobbs recently posted..Little Girls and Late Night Tea Parties
Preach it! Loved this post so, so much. Once we all start realizing that it’s our quirks that make us beautiful, loved, and HUMAN, we’ll start loving ourselves even more. Even if we song off key in the morning, or blast Britney Spears, or make up silly words that would never be passed off as any language…
Seriously Colleen, I love your blog! Your interests and quirks are what make you YOU! I feel like we spend so much of our 20′s trying to figure ourselves out. As you start fleshing out your 30′s, you start to say “You know what? I don’t care what people think, this is ME!”
Embrace who you are and keep on rockin’…. XO
Mackenzie recently posted..Link Love: Downton Abbey is Ending Edition!
This is awesome. Every. Single. Sentence. Just awesome. Thank you!!
Amanda M. recently posted..Alayna’s Valentine Concert
Dude. Truth!
Amber recently posted..Good Riddance
Word.
<3 you. I can't even begin to tell you how perfect and relatable this is. Yet another reminder to embrace my "ness". You always bravely and beautifully post wisdoms to things I'm working through…my soul sista.
krista@rustikchic recently posted..vDay mug swap
I’m with you 100%!!!! I am anxiously awaiting the arrival of my Hello sweater
I love this post, love everything you said. I couldn’t agree more!
It’s amazing how the weight lifts from your shoulders and you can smile more when you stop caring about what others think and be yourself!
Brooke recently posted..a day in tiny moments
Girl, I so feel you on this! SO transparent and honest. I am right there with you, I think this is completely normal. Sending hugs your way
So TRUE! NOT doing something you like solely because everyone else IS doing it, is just as silly as DOING something you don’t really enjoy just because everyone else IS doing that same thing.
Bring it on sista…
Sarah recently posted..I Heart You…
I really need to read The Happiness Project. Thanks for writing and sharing this. It’s exactly on point.
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